Poem: An Interview Between an Alien and a Human

[wonderwafles]

Interview Between an Alien and a Human

(First of all, thank you for being here.)

[Thank you for having me.]

(You must have come a long way to visit us.)

[What’s a few hundred light-years between friends?]

(So, I thought I’d start us out with a question from one of our viewers. Are you now, or have you ever been, a ghost?)

[Of course.]

(Can you elaborate on that?)

[I feel like I’ve been here before.]

(Many billions of our viewers want to settle a little bet; do your people have a religion?)

[Sure! We have billions of them. One for every person. And every morning we argue about them. Thus do we come closer to the truth.]

(A few of our viewers think you might be God. What do you have to say about that?)

[You think we’re God?]

(Why do you think neither of us has been contacted by other civilizations before now?)

[Me, personally? I think they’re shy.]

(Many of us have written novels about what it would be like to meet aliens. Would you like to read them?)

[I’m more of a romance fan, personally.]

(Fascinating! Do you think there will be romance novels about someone of our people and yours?)

[Well, why not?]

(Aren’t you bothered by our grotesque forms?)

[Pardon?]

(Well, don’t you think we’re so very distant from each other? So wildly variable in appearance? Don’t you think it would be hard for one of your people to love one of ours? You took a short instructive course on our history before the interview, didn’t you? Don’t you think there is something wrong with us?)

[Well-]

(Don’t you want to destroy us? With laser beams?)

[Well, um. To answer your question, I think it’s very believable, um, from where I’m sitting.]

(Oh?)

(…)

(OH!)